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:: Here is my journey! ::

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Monday, October 1, 2012

::Jalan Masih Panjang::

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah...to all.

and the story begins...

1. Hey, I am annoyed enough. Astaghfirullah

As I told you many times, I am currently doing O&G posting. tempat org beranak tu . Peace!
and it is ?compulsory for each of us to conduct 1 or more labour/baby delivery.[SO YOU THINK WE ARE CAPABLE ENOUGH? STOP IT]
 At first, I was really excited to conduct.
however, there were many obstacles came in my ways.

3 times conduct half-way je. [Don't you have gut to conduct it till the end,huh? what? err..huh?]

first time, when it was the time for delivery. and I was standing beside the patient, wearing apron, sterile gloves and even face mask! [what an embarrassing!]

suddenly, the baby was having shoulder dystocia. [see, kan takde rezeki nak conduct?]
I put off my CLEAN APRON AND STERILE GLOVES inside the yellow bin. buang mcm tu je padahal tak kotor pun.

I was a bit dissapointed. I was waiting almost 4 hours just to get the baby out. grieving together with the patient whom was in pain. I was in pain too..:( .. what a fruitless ending that day!

second time, I was rejected by the respected nurses. they were very reluctant to allow me to handle the patient.first because I was just entering the room like I am the head of department, kot.. second, I did not taking care of the patient form A to Z... I was burning inside crazily. Astaghfirullah. Ok. Fine,next time I will conduct another patient form A to Z . and don't you ever dare to say anything like that...[burning burning burning! La Taghdab....]

[Told you, I am not capable enough. dont you know 'cuak face'?]

Third time, after so many times had been wasted,
with this bare face, once again, entered the labour ward with the ultimate hope that I will conduct a patient that day. everything went smooth. Alhamdullilah.....
and when the patient was ready to deliver, everyone was like rushing here and there. and they knew I wanted to conduct the delivery. and I was wearing my STERILE GLOVES and they waited for me like forever....ouch, why the gloves didn't went in smoothly, and by the time I managed to wear the STERILE GLOVES (sterile la sgt kan?)...the baby was out already ..sob sob sob..(baby, dont you have any guts to be delivered by this poor and pitiful kakak? ? ? oh baby.....why?)...at the end,, my incredible task was just wiping the baby's face..[I am capable for this task... anyway]. but still the baby face did not clean. what a freaking weak me! but at the end, the kind nurse at last allowed me to take out the placenta. I was so excited dalam sedih. keluarkan placenta pun, hadeh, very embarassing as well. well, I am just a learner.
I was afraid that I would injured and hurt my patient. And Alhamdulillah... the placenta went out easily..... wink*

Fourth time
This time , I was so motivated to conduct a real baby. not a placenta, not just wiping the face, not just standing there like a useless dummy....

I was taking care the patient from A to Z (again>/??)

and managed to accompanied until the delivery time...and when she was straining to push the baby out, suddenly, 2 nurses came in... sorry, dik... this patient is a teacher. let us conduct her....

what???? Oh NOOOOOOO....

again, I had wasted their CLEAN AND STERILE GLOVES AND APRON!

but the thing is I was crying my heart out.(you know why? because I was so angry and I could not say anything. If I just let it out the things inside my heart, I might hurt them or make them even mad. So Islam taught me the beauty of being a sabar person. I wanted to folloe Rasulullah's attitude (akhlak)...sabar sabar sabar...and at the end, could not stand the pressure, I just let my tears out,... that would put out the 'fire' inside my heart...

so that;s my complicated notorious boring story....

Tiadalah terjadi sesuatu bencana itu melainkan dengan kehendak Allah, dan siapa yang percaya kepada Allah nescaya dipimpin Allah hatinya" (Surah At-Taghabun:11)


2. another lesson that I should never take it lightly..

I was having dinner with my 3 friends at this kedai makan.
when I was leisurely chatting with my friends(sambil bajet bawak buku untuk dibaca..bacalah sangat kan?)
one waiter approach me and gave me a card. with somebody's name on it.

oh rupanya one guy that was eating in front of me waving his hand to me.

@@"

so you're expecting me to throw this card in front of your face ? (dalam imaginasi)

and I was making my no-no response.
and he just went away like that... perhaps he understood my response.

when we were in car, talking about the 'problem'
so I came out with this words...

"kan bagus kalau orang tu dah kahwin...confirm takde org brani buat cam tu... and the thing is, he might be giving away his cards to countless ladies. tak baik lelaki buat mcm tu.... it was rude and insulting . as if he didnt respect me...this is wrong....this not supposed to happen..." I was a bit angry..(kan, marah lagi....) because he didnt respect me....

and that what's made me think kahwin is the best solution. and if I am not getting married yet, (jauh lagi la nampaknya..), I told myself, "don't worry, Allah will protect you....O Allah, I trust in you...I am just a weak servant of You. ..jauhkanlah hambaMu dari apa kejahatan yang telah Engkau takdirkan..Engkau Yang Maha Mengetahui...Ampunkan dosa-dosaku....

I was thinking,, this is a test from Him...in wards, this is reality, they are many patients come in with unmarried status. and they are muslims. this is a lesson that we, as a girl/women/lady need to take into a serious matter....


Back to hostel, I threw away the card into the rubbish bin.

and my best friend offered me to listen to this song....

JALAN MASIH PANJANG BY EDCOUSTIC


have a great time listening!

I wanted to put this as background song for my blog...tapi it would  be much disturbing for some people,kan??? haaa...nevermind la....

Orang-orang yang beriman itu akan menjadi tenteram hati mereka. Ingatlah dengan mengingati Allah itu hati akan menjadi tenteram" (Surah Ar-Rad:28)


and don't forget to keep reminding yourself that to pray for Syrians, Palestinians, Burma and all muslim fellows all over the world... the bad people have all the weapons, but trust it, we have Allah and our strongest weapon is make a lot of du'as for them ..amin







2 comments:

  1. Tompang spamming sikit ek:

    http://elhafiesta.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-makes-music-widgets-on-blog.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. nah. I was about to dump it from my mind. anyway, thanks for the suggestion.

    ReplyDelete