:::Chapter 9: MANY STORIES TO SHARE..:::

Assalamualaikum...

#1 :::Dedicated to this inspired-blogger:::

I'm deeply truly heavily waiting for that blog to be updated [again].. THOUGH I know the blog will not going to be updated any longer and that's IMPOSSIBLE to happen... THOUGH as it might be updated, but it won't be the same writing again as it is NOT FROM THE REAL BLOGGER that owned that blog. It's kinda different...ermmm....

I'm creating my own blog [WAS ACTUALLY] not for public-reading. I was like creating this blog merely for my own goodness [ONLY] because I take this space merely to record or jot down anything that happen to me. BUT it was back back then before I met this blog with a fact that the blogger is just passed away[by that time]. The way he inspired blog readers was super-duper impressive and remarkable. What a splendid blogger he was! I'm not saying that I am urging for his comeback. NOT..I am MUSLIM...and I know that's qada' and qadar from Allah. HE is THE ONE that deserve to make any decision for HIS SLAVES...and that's much accepted by me.. [AL-FATIHAH for allahyarham doctor....]

#2:::DOSAGE OF IMAN:::

I need some more dosage for my iman. I am feeling very sad as I am aware that my iman is fluctuating. and that's not a good news for me.. I'm not intend distancing myself from ALLAH. but I've no ideas why I'm feeling that way..[by this very moment]...nauzubillahhiminazalik! astaghfirullah hal azim...

and for solat, I'm still improving my humbleness [khusyuk] in every prayers that I made. SUSAH ! that's frustrating me a lot. Before solat, I'm ready to get khusyuk.........then...frustrated...I am sad when something goes beyond my control [yes, I do!].I get frustrated when I think of something else during solat...I know Allah is testing me...and what more with this kind of test. I share this problem with my friends and still ,get back to the square one, I am still not satisfied with my own feeling. THANK YOU any of my friends that willingly to lend me your ears, but I guess it is better for me to deal it by my own.
Then, I google up something for khusyuk in solat and I get these:

Aku berdiri dengan penuh kewaspadaan dan aku rasakan aku sedang berhadapan dengan ALLAH, Syurga di sebelah kananku, Neraka di sebelah kiriku, Malaikat Maut berada di belakangku, dan aku bayangkan pula aku seolah-olah berdiri di atas titian 'Siratal Mustaqim' dan menganggap bahawa solatku kali ini adalah solat terakhir bagiku, kemudian aku berniat dan bertakbir dengan baik." Setiap bacaan dan doa dalam solat ku faham maknanya, kemudian aku rukuk dan sujud dengan tawadhuk, akubertasyahud dengan penuh pengharapan dan aku memberi salam dengan ikhlas.


hopefully, Insyaallah...with the names of ALLAH, ar-Rahman ar-Rahim, I will try my very best [very very], to improve my solat and also fixing my uneasy heart..

I am wondering, whenever my heart have problems to encounter with, I would rather easily apply anti-septic or anti-biotic or combine both of them to give me some combo-effect to treat it. It is so much hated by me whenever there is a barrier [my own feeling] between me and MY CREATOR in my solat or everytime I think of Allah...I just want to tear the barrier with my own hands if it were happen to be just a one-inch paper, I wanna break it apart with my sharpest knife if it were ever to be a wood barrier...I wanna to finely chop it with my chopper. I want to...but physically it is beyond my control. and that's a sorrow for me.

The best way is reciting Al-Quran...that will not just tear it off, or break it off or even not just finely chop it, indeed, I fully trusted that AL-QURAN will melt it off as if there is no barrier before...and also to gun-fire Syaitan and their culprit gang that circulate in my own body..[sound scary right? but don't be..it is a fact...]

erm...I'm done with sesi meluahkan rasa terbuku di hati ini [wah! rasa novelist nyaaa!]

I know ALLAH will never leave me...NEVER...I want to be fair as well to my CREATOR...I don't want to leave Allah as well. I need ALLAH....I need ISLAM...I need USRAH...I want to be [ALWAYS] want to stay connected with ALLAH much more than connecting with someone that's not mine [yet]...ALLAH is more important....[I wish someone is understand but sadly someone is not...I am not frustrated for that someone because of what? ALLAH..yes..ALLAH...always close with...lending me HIS oxygen for me to carry on with my life...granting me with ISLAM...IMAN...alhamdulillah...and that's more important,someone..that's much more important...I don't need you...I need ALLAH more more more..ALLAH IS MY NURUL QALBI!


#3:::An open-letter for _________ :::
"I'm not going to ruin my life just to chase after someone that not happy if I ever mistreat him..I choose ALLAH...so.. a big and cheerful FAREWELL for you from me...so feel free to leave me and feel free to improve your connection with ALLAH as well...pray for the best..not for us but for ISLAM..remember your du'a..."

rasa lega bila meluahkan rasa tak senang [uneasy feeling].

ADDS-ON:

JOM SAMA-SAMA BERSEMANGAT BERIBADAH! KHUSYUK SOLAT!JOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

TAKBIR!ALLAHUAKBAR!!!!

:::Chapter 8: Rasulullah vs Si Ijal:::

Assalamualaikum

SAYA SAYANG RASULULLAH.......

ALLAHUMMA SOLLI A'LA MUHAMMAD...
WA'ALA ALLIHI WASOH BIHHI WABARRIK WASSALIM....

Senario 1:

"eh...besok bufday si Ijal laa...wei...jom kita buat surprise party jom!"
"a ah la..." jawab teman-teman yg lain.
"ok...apa kata kita order kek kat secret recipe. Perisa durian ..kan Ijal suke kan?collect money lah...nanti pinjam motor ambik kek tu..."
"BOLEH SESANGAT" jawab yang lain penuh semangat juangnya [KONON NYER] "pas tu kita buat lah surprise sikit...rase nye tak yah la buat ngam-ngam kol 12 mlm. buat akhir siket, supaye dia tak suspect...cantek x idea gua????" "PERGH..mantap, bro! "

Sebab musabab nak di'grand'kan bufday si Ijal ni:
1. Ijal ni memang baek punyer kwn. kalau ada masalah, mintak tlg dia, komfem...dia tlg!Especially,masalah fulus...
2. Ijal ni budak pandai...budak MRZM[bukan nama sebenar] la katakan...
3. Ijal ni anak datuk. FUH! selalu makan free, lepak-lepak kat rumah beso gedabak dia tuh...parents dia baek...tak sombong...lahap lah banyak mana makanan kat rumah tu, komfem dorang tak kesah punyer..ye la..Ijal kan anak tunggal...
4. Ijal ni senang bagi pinjam barang. dari sekecik-kecik pen biru saiz 0.5 sampai lah kereta Gen-2 hadiah mak bapak dia, dia bagi pinjam. ko buat2 muka xde duit isik minyak, pun tak de hal, der....

::kesimpulannya, bufday Ijal ni disambut di peringkat benua sebab2 hidden agenda di atas...hehehe...boleh pao Ijal ni lebih-lebih lain kali!::

Senario 2
"eh...besok Maulidur Rasul...jom pergi..."
"kat mane tu? alaa...malasnyer....mesti berarak panas-panas...kalau hujan, mesti basah kuyup, sejuk tahap benua utara pasifik! TAK KOT..." jawab salah sorang dari gang 789 sambil disetujui oleh yang lain.
"buat kat kampung Pisang...ala...cuaca ni mana dapat agak...kalau panas, pans lah. kalau hujan, hujan lah...tak kesah laaaaaa...nak ke tak nak???" kata Ijam dengan semangat berkobar kobar[ anak sape la bagus sangat ni....kembang hidung ibuayah dia kat kampung..]
"ermmm...pukul brapa bertolak dari sini? kalau awal sangat, aku mintak ampun banyak2 lah...tak dapat eden menolongnyerrrr"
"lepas subuh bertolak...bas tunggu kat depan asrama...korang...bufday Ijal ari tu bukan main korang iya-iya nak sambut....hari lahir Rasulullah korang acuh-tak-acuh je...."Ijam melahirkan kekesalan.
"ko ni apsal Ijam? sawan ke apa malam2 macam ni...bagi kang...budak ni...geram aku...paksa-paksa orang pulak dia..." begitu skali jawapan kawannya. [sampai nak tumbuk pulak ha....ape daaa....]
"a ah...lagipun kan ada hadis Nabi cakap...tak baik memuji-muji baginda lebih-lebih....ko tau tak ...rasenya...Malaysia je kot yg sambut Maulidur rasul sampai berarak macam ni tau...oi...Jam...balik tido la kau...." sorang menyambung. [hoi....pandai keluar kan hadis yerr......berlagak!]

Ajakan Ijam disambut dengan ZERO RESPONSE dari teman-temannya. Ijam pulang ke bilik dengan penuh kekesalan.

Ijam berfikir....sape Ijal kalau nak dibanding dengan Rasulullah???Ijal kalau disuruh pergi Palestin...sanggup ke dia? kalau suruh dia infakkan harta dia yang tak luak tu...sanggup ke dia???kalau suruh dia pergi jihad, nak ke dia??? Mengalir air mata Ijam memikirkan btapa rasa sayang kepada Rasul tercinta tidak ada dalam hati dan jiwa kawan kawannya.

KALAU TAKdE RASULULLAH, TAK DE ISLAM KAT DUNIA NI...MASUK NERAKA KITA SEMUA! KALAU RASULULLAH TAK BERDOA DIHINDARKAN BALA KEPADA UMATNYA...DAH LAMA KITA MELAYU NI DAH MATI DITELAN BUMI, LEMAS DALAM BANJIR BESAR, DITIMPA HUJAN BATU YANG KERAS...DITUKAR JADI KERA...DAH LAMA!!!!!! PADAHAL...BAGINDA tak jumpa pun umat akhir zaman ni...tak bersua pun...tapi, baginda MENANGIS RINDUKAN KITA! MENANGIS!!!!! SAMPAI saat kematian nya pun, Baginda masih ingat umatnya yang akan datang....masih RISAU walaupun Jibril sudah menjanjikan rohnya akan disambut para malaikat di atas sana.. Baginda sabar dihina oleh kafir quraisy...cobaan bunuh, disihir....segala mcm lagi tohmahan...baginda SABAR. sebab kalau dia balas balik...Islam tu terkubur begitu sahaja sebab serangan kafir quraisy balik....

Ijal ke...mak bedah ke...pak haji usop ke...sape2 je kat dunia ni TAK LAYAK nak dibandingkan kebaikan nya dengan Rasulullah... BOYFRIEND ke GIRLFRIEND ke...semuanyer HAMPEH...TAK KEKAL LAMA!


cinta teragung kita adalah ALLAH...SANG PENCIPTA
tetapi, kita memohon berdoa kepadaNYA, sejahterakan baginda...selamatkan baginda.... cinta kita tetap pada YANG ESA...sayangnya kita kepada baginda bersandarkan cinta kita kepada ALLAH....jgn bagi alasan mudah dan rapuh dengan mengatakan tak nak sambut maulidur rasul sebab tak nak memuji berlebihan, nanti macam orang kafir puja2 Musa...Jesus....mana boleh![ otak tu dah necrosis keeeee????fikir dari satu sudut je...hah...necrosis lah tu...otak mati dah???] THEN, dah cukup sangat ke CINTA KITA KEPADA ILLAHI??

kalau birthday Ijal yang baik tu boleh sambut...SANGGUP pulak bangun jam 1pagi semata mata nak surprise kan dia?[tak der paedah langsong! baik buat qiam ke apa ke masa tu...]sanggup lagi collect duit RM5 sorang semata-mata nak beli kek perisa DURIAN febret si Ijal tu la... kenapa birthday RASULULLAH yang berjuta-juta ganda baiknya dari Ijal tu kita tak nak sambut????berkira lah...awal sangat lepas subuh...panas sangat berarak...sakit kang kalau berhujan....berkira kalau nak collect duit nak buat banner Maulidur Rasul...membazir lah apa laa...bazir tak dibenarkan dalam islam[pergh! brani pulak cakap pasal agama ek??] kang korang syirik pulak sebab memuji baginda berlebih-lebihan....dan 1001 alasan yang tak munasabah dilontarkan... Saya rasa masalah ni terjadi sebab: IJAL:

1. Ijal tu seketul depan mata dorang. dapat dilihat. bak kata orang, kalau Si Ijal tu berdengkur, dorang tau bunyi dengkur apa pulak malam tu...malam esok dan seterusnya...tau warna baju Si Ijal ni mengikut hari...hari Isnin, baju kemeja pink petak petak...tali leher kaler kuning cair...

manakala RASULULLAH :

1. Sudah wafat...Al-Quran dan Sunnah baginda yang dekat dengan kita. sebab tu dorang tak de feel sangat...[ KORANG NI BUTA MATA...HATI PUN BUTA GAK! Cuba baca, fikir kisah Rasulullah...perjuangan baginda, sikap baginda...terasa baginda tu...sentiasa ada dengan kita...dekat di hati....]...kenapa nak berkira? setakat berarak tgah2 panas...hujan??? apa la???demam???setakat DEMAM je kot...kita ni mana layak nak balas jasa baginda...sedikit sebanyak, hari2 doa dan selawat untuk Rasulullah, Sambutan Maulidur Rasul ni pun...salah satu cara kita nak hargai Baginda..... Kita demam je risikonya..baginda????sampai diugut bunuh...sanggup lagi berjuang untuk Islam. kita belum lagi tahap nak berjihad, beru nak sambut Maulidur Rasul, dah berkira bukan main.... MAKA...jangan lah berkira....sayanglah Rasulullah...mintak lah dengan ALLAH selain dipertemukan dngan ALLAH di akhirat kelak, mintaklah juga dipetemukan dengan Baginda...INSHAALLAH.....

kalau nak sambut birthday kawan, TAK SALAH...tapi, jangan berkira tentang yang berkaitan dengan Program agama...ceramah agama ke..pergi laaa...maulidur rasul...pergi la...Qiam ke MABIT ke...pergi la....then, ok la...yg x betulnya...birthday kawan sambut, tapi ceramah agama, MABIT, program agam x nak pulak pergi...itu yg tak betulnya...

:::WAHAI KAUM MUSLIMIN, REMAJA2 ISLAM...berpegang teguhlah pada tali agamamu....:::

*post lama yg di'update'kan...

:::Chapter 6: izinkan saya bercerita part 2:::

Assalamualaikum...

Part 2 dibuat setelah part 1 di'dispose'kan... nothing about it clinging in my mind. so,I better stop it rather than talking bad about somebody. that's totally not good,ya.

so, my part2 , I would rather share about my family. that's actually excluded in my initial planning .



My family is my everything and I would never think of anything else that deserve to be trade in with them. they always here, cling with me. whenever I have difficulties, sorrow, and even when I am happy. I would share everything with them especially my dearest mom..the one that always come up with the greatest cook out from kitchen, the one that willing to sleep by my side whenever I'm in fruitful holiday..the one that willing to buy me things that I wanted...the one that keep elevating her skills as a mom to get herself more adapt being in the circle of her growing up daughters and sons. thank you,Puan Harningsih Oerip Marsono...

when there is a mom, there is a dad.

My father, the one that never hit me.NEVER since I was still infant..but of course as a father, he would scold me whenever I make him angry with my mischievous manner. the one that always introduce me proudly in front of his friends.. the one that willing to buy goods to make our day as his children...the one that keep hiding his sorrow,tears,sadness,any lacking in his everyday's life. the one that provide me with tranquility...he is my father...thank you...En. Delie Mahsin

::I LOVE THEM so much..they nurture me and my other siblings as if we are their priceless treasures from Allah..as I keep mentioning this..let me mention it again in this post..hopefully,Allah will meet us all in HIS al-jannah...I'll try my best not to harm them...not to hurt them with my words...not to disappoint them with my life...inshaallah...never come across in my mind to break their hearts though I might had unintentionally did it.

I keep buying them things like shirts for my dad...tudungs for my mom..and even that shiny bracelets...BUT I have no idea why my dad NEVER wear any of those shirts. I am wondering why...but I just unable to ask as who knows his answer might offend me? I'm buying it with all my hearts though they keep telling me not to waste my money buying the things that is not USEFUL for them..ermm..I've no idea why...might be the things that I bought for them is not up to their liking? not pretty? not nice? or maybe the T-shirts colors in a way are too colorful for my dad?.nevertheless, I keep buying them everytime I going back home. so, you know how stubborn am I now? yes, I am.

::Hugging them tightly::
::Wiping away their tears::
::Patching their injuries::
::Ensuring them in the best welfare::

:::Buat Sahabat2ku di Mesir:::

Assalamualaikum ...

Buat Sahabat-sahabatku di Mesir...Kaifa halukum ya??


Hearing the breaking news of the commotion in Mesir, I'm very worry about my friends in Mesir...What and how are they doing right there? do they stay in safe shelter for the mean time? seriously, I just can't think of any possibility that might happen to them right there...I just wanna figure out their current status...

I've no facebook[as it might be the only way to contact them up]. nevertheless, I believe that, insyaallah I will be able to sort out another alternative way to get contact with AT LEAST one of them....[rang?bibut?azlinah?deeni? I could not recall anymore names]

Hopefully, my sahabat2 in Mesir, I hope you guys are in plenty of patience...don't neglect your study just because of that helpless commotion...don't get into so much fear...don't worry much...remembrance of Allah in our life....Allah will always there providing you guys with a better life condition over there...not just in Mesir, in Malaysia as well....ameen...

:::keeping my fingers cross..:::

The long-distance between us might has separate our bodies apart,
crossing the huge oceans,
crossing several continents and countries,
BUT
the memories that we had sketched together,
never left behind,
keep itself refresh everyday in every piece of our fragile HEART,
I miss the ukhuwah that we tied together back then...