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Friday, December 2, 2011

:::Ingin ke sana semula. terbang mengutip semula semangat ..:::







Assalamualaikum warahmatullah...

jam dah 1.36am. mata saya tak dapat lelap jugak....hmmm.... byk dosa kali sampai x blh tidur..

hmmm....

saya ke surau utk conduct usrah..terjumpa dgn sahabat al-irfaan time di matrik.[mariana amit...yes..I've met her]...bila balik ke bilik...terkacau jugak memori dgn kenangan di sana....rindu..[hanya itu yg mampu terungkapkan...]

seriously, Labuan [specifically KML] akan jd salah satu destinasi saya pada masa depan...mungkin sbg tempat percutian bersama keluarga...atau pilihan utk saya berbulan madu...atau tempat saya akad nikah[surau al irfaan...hehe...perhaps so...]

seriously, surau al irfaan merupakan salah satu tempat favourite saya...x pernah sya jumpa tempat yg begitu...hmm...tenang...tenteram....saya ngaji kat sna, even study pun stay sampai mlm2 kat sana...wow. hebat....

seriously, saya rindu dgn apa yg Allah hadiahkan saya sepanjang setahun disana...
sahabat2 saya...teman sekuliah...sahabat selajnah....mushroom family...roommies...
even makcik2 cleaner...hehe...

seriously, saya bukanlah pelajar 4flat[oh yeay] dan bukanlah pelajar yg PERFORM time tutorial..saya ketua lajnah akademik, tp saya TIRU tutorial kawan saya [jika x pandai buat lah!], tp most of the time saya tak pandai buatlah...hehe...nasib xde sahabat seusrah satu tutorial dgn saya...

[among semua, saya je tak layak utk pegang jawatan ni..tp dorang tetap terima kehadiran & kewujudan saya unconditionally...thank you .hmmm]

seriously, saya rindukan semangat 'perjuangan Islam' yg sahabat2 al irfaan tunjukkan...baik masa buat program apa pun..baik sorang lecturer pun x nak support kami, kami mampu buat semua...kat sini...[bukan nak compare la...], tp saya rasa muslimin kat sini...hmmm...perhaps....
menyebabkan saya berfikir, yg....kadang2 muslimah kena bergantung dgn kekuatan diri sendiri...itu yg terjadi...well, saya kena biasakan & kuatkan diri...walaupun dah hampir 2 thn saya tinggalkan al irfaan, last tu, dgn airmata yg saya tak mampu tahan dah...time lambai sahabat2...oh..it was...too sad to be remembered huh?..hmmm...





seriously, kat sini saya kecewa[?] , mungkin dgn ketidaksemangatan muslimin..[huhu...rasa nak cry ...?...better not....]..maksud saya bukan sbb perlu adanya al amin, arraffie, dan yg lain2 utk ada di kolej perubatan ni..tak...tp semangat dorang kalau boleh dikirimkan kat setiap lelaki islam kat sini...[tak boleh berkalau-kalau.....itu ketetapan Allah...I have to accept it...]. kat sini...bukan nak complain, tp seriously, everything dorang rasa dorang tak mampu buat, they simply hand the works over muslimah....why don't they give it a try first? [saya pun tak faham....terlalu manja dalam perjuangan? manja sangat...I mean manja always count on others 100% sedangkan they're really capable...]..saya harap dorang semangat lagi lagi lagi....

"... dan kamu telah berada di tepi jurang neraka, lalu Allah menyelamatkan kamu darinya..." (Ali-'Imran: 103)

seriously, saya tak mengutuk. saya nampak usaha dorang jugak...namun terlalu perlahan utk saya jangka....semangat tu....perlahan.hmmm...

kat sini jugak, saya hilang totally slang sabah saya...walaupun time kat KML, saya semangat sgt nak ikut and mimic their slangs. oh...too fun...but now, saya cakap semenanjung...oh...too sad! entahlah...everytime saya try nak ckp sabah, saya sendiri frust sebab dia tak keluar ...frust....adakah hilangnya slang tu bermakna semakin pudar kenangan saya?[oh..I need Al Irfaan so badly..huhu]

sahabat2 muslimah saya, bibut,rang,ena hijau,tura,mea,pijut,masrah,me ce',musdalia,imah dan ramai lagi yg lain, oh saya rindukan anda...saya rasa benda yg paling takut suatu hari nanti jika saya lupa nama2 anda...oh too bad...harapnya tak...saya akan pahat dalam2 all those names. kalian...hmm...byk ajar saya benda yg saya tak tahu....terima kasih....kalau dtg sarawak, don't hesitate to text me..or just call me... kat sini kan, hmm...kat sini...korang tau susahnya nak tegakkan Islam...we did a cold fight with our seniors...[senior lelaki]...perang dingin...huh...berani kan? hehe...senior kat sini[heh...it's tiring me to think about them...]...kan bagus kalau letak satu umur je kat sini....tak payah ada senior-junior...that would be much fun!

and after saya keluar KML, I was once mistaken for .... to be someone that the person likes or liked?? [saya akan padam ayat ni kalau it's too cheesy]...but indeed I was not really understand anything about ikhtilat? yes, now Insyaallah...I get what it is. and for that reason, I deactivated my facebook. I better not giving in to any unpredictable feeling? better not...[oh...what's with this confession! cheesy!]..and saya harap sahabat2 pun hold the ikhtilat concept....that's what I've struggling for. to have a better definition . and I think that in a way, Allah definitely will give me the best guy.. so,currently I am closing my heart for any guys. tutup hati jom? hehe...bila sampai masa, then barulah......................................

dan apa yg memorable bg saya, one of them was masa kita ikut kem di pulau Penyu,kan? heh..
kenangan buruk-manis bercampur. actually, I really hate those activities. tp bila saya fikir, seronok jugak...masa jalan sorang tgah mlm, takut...but then, ..hmm...yg saya pasti org depan saya memang tak tunggu selangkah pun, bawak diri sendiri jak. oh..too bad huh?

last words, tetiba teringat korang semua...and I couldn't able to say it out loud...THANK YOU ALLAH made me met with them....hope we can meet up in the future...or if impossible, let's create a space for us to meet in His Greatland....in His Jannah...Insyaallah...struggle for that...otak no , hati ni...akan ada nama2 kalian selagi saya adalah saya...biiznillah...

wo ai ni men...xie xie....


4 comments:

  1. bkn pulau ba tu pejah...it's kuala penyu...eheheeheh..btw,waheshtini wa bahebbak awi2 pejah..i miss u soo badly.....:))))

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  2. it was a PULAU la rang,kan? haha...because I remembered the sea...whatever it is..hahaha...rang, missing you to death lah! skrg ni busy sgt2...ntah..kdg2 masa ni...sekejap je dah siang...bukak mata...sekejap dah jadi malam balik...huhuhu...ooo...pakai arab nampak? I love you too? isn't it? hahaha...miss you rang.thank you!

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  3. huhu..apsl begenang mata aku ne..? pejah......rindu....

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  4. yeah, i'm missing the tyme when i was there too... hardwork, and all that...miss them so much. especially roti kat coperasi(?).haha.. xD but yeah, no other words can describe the feeling i had now, except that i miss it so much. Surau Al-Irfaan is one of the bestest place i have ever known. i'll go there, maybe, insyaAllah, someday in the future.. T^T

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