::Wallahi Watallahi Wabillahi::

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:: Here is my journey! ::

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

::chapter3: Sinful ::





assalamualaikum...

I think I should have just continue with 'Looking back the unstoppable moments' as my life is going on everyday not until Izrail comes and takes me away....



::Today, life is so packed with helplessly useless stuffs::

Alhamdulillah, the useless stuffs are not my lecturers and not even my lectures yet something useless [in my opinion] related to my surroundings. I am currently tied by this non-official agreement to become so-called emcee for the CNY celebration in my college...I rather somehow a bit reluctant on joining the emcee stuff but but but........after having double yet triple thought on that matter, finally I made a final decision to AGREE ...I am thinking of these:


1.Tolerancy...I should put myself into his shoes. I know he is in his strong attempt to make a surprise [as he admitted ] to outsiders that I can speak chinese [ though I find it somehow to be very offensive to know the fact of his intention. but, that's just what I thought, maybe he owns a better explanation for what I had just thought...[hopefully with no regrets]...

"Allah will not give mercy to anyone, except those who give mercy to other creatures." [Hadith narrated by: Abdullah b. Amr: Abu Daud & Tirmidhi]


2.That's the nature of me.. it is almost impossible for me to say NO if someone seeks for my help on doing something..I can just barely say YES..[though I might having double thought on saying my agreement but yet as expected, I maintain my nature..]... should I stay remain this way or not?
3.Seeks for opinions...I have couple friends of mine whom just giving me another perception about this matter. They said why not? Then I slowly said why yes,then?

finishing that...still...the final answer is still a yes...May Allah bless me...

::Talking nonsense about chinese literature making my head helplessly spinning::

ouch! This is really such a big cramming puzzle for me to solve! I couldn't help it! My chinese friend giving me such unpleasant thing to think off and I could not help myself from not to think any of it..What a brain-cramming deep literature up to the point that I did something unimportant for Islam...How USELESS I am! I am not angry any of the literature thingy, or neither pointing up my index finger on my housemate...NO..I am blamming myself[100%] for wasting my time and did something useless for Islam and I feel so SINFUL! I am aware Allah is watching but I still busy thinking of that unimportant stuff..O Allah, please forgive me....

::I enjoy studying ::

You know, I tend to fall in love more and more everyday in my study...you know...anatomy is a bit DRY subject...BUT I have no idea why I changing the status [dislike---> LIKE] as I think I get to appreciate more and more of what Allah has create for His creation inside and out...inrinsically and extrinsically...internally and externally...anteriorly and posteriorly....It's so perfect! From the very very minute nerve up to biggest muscle, Allah has done it perfectly! SUBHANALLAH! I should say it now...I should say...it is the biggest guilty if I end up this block with a bad result...apart from thinking about that, I am starting to nourish and gaining my strength to stay hardworking and never take this subject for granted merely for Allah...

"Whoever is kind, Allah will be kind to him; therefore be kind to man on the earth. He Who is in heaven will show mercy on you."[Abu Daud: Tirmidhi]



:::Closure: I should calmly lying on bed now..but I end-up my night on blogging...you might think I am just wasting my time, but not for me...I am in a very bad emotion right now...and I should 'talk' to my Creator after this...:::

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