Assalamualaikum warahmatullah
Alhamdulillah...at last ... I have gotten myself some time to make a new entry after more than a week [?] since I made my last entry.
honestly, I'm getting buzy... you know...being piled up with all those research, exams, lectures...
masyaAllah....how dare am I complaining...masyaAllah...
back to the main point.
Indeed, Allah loves those who fight in His cause in a row as though they are a [single] structure joined firmly.[As saff: 4]
2. Start thinking of my future husband
--> I am not a type of girl that mind so much to think about a guy that would come to my heart. I'm really blocking any of them.
--> but, recently, it is quite an alarming warn for me since I am 21 years old. you know, I made several targets of age to end my single status :
(i) 20 years old : I missed the target. [x jumpa lagi!]
(ii) 23 years old : ok...insyaAllah
(iii) 25 years old : if (ii) is not fulfilled
(iv) 28 years old : if all of the above is not fulfilled
O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.[al hujurat : 13]
--> but human being could just merely do a planning, but everything is decided by Allah...this is certain.
--> p/s : don't worry, no.1( 2 months 3 days.) is not related to this ...
--> and Allah made me came across with this beautiful quotes...Alhamdulillah... I feel better everytime I read this :
"Allah has already written the names of your spouses for you. What you need to work on is your relationship with Allah swt. He will send her/him to you when you're ready. It is only a matter of time..~"(Sheikh Mamdouh)
--> so, I always pray to Allah, to send me the best person for me. it's not mr Right anymore...he should be Mr Righteous [Mr. Soleh ]...
--> what I need to do more, to make my effort to the fullest level is my relationship with Allah....I am not dare to say I am so in love with Allah...I am afraid of being someone who is munafiq...[naudzubillah..]...Only Allah knows the contents of my heart...I just know my heart partly...because I am not the owner of my heart... it's Allah's. so...I dare to say, I am putting my effort to learn how to love Allah as what a slave like me obliged to do....
--> people...trust me...learn how to love Allah, improve the feeling from day to day....then, He will send you someone that will guide you... to always making steps closer to Him...*wink!*
p/s : aren't them make you feel better too?
3. I would if I could!
--> To make short this very long2x story...I would prefer to make it short.
--> One counselor told me to make an adaptation throughout my lifetime as I would encounter many types of crowd out there...so he told me to not treating guys like they're not exist. [ouch....this part hurts!]... he tried to manipulate my principle...
--> he told me that, Islam is beautiful...and try not to make Islam seen as a rigid stuff...[ another shot...! ]
--> try to smile to them [3rd shot!]
--> he told me that many people like me, with all the tudung, lowering my gaze (jaga pandangan)....after 10 years time, totally changed. yellow dyed hair...bla bla bla [ 4th shot!]
--> again, he told me that people like me always look down other people who don't properly tutup aurat...[this is so unacceptable....my heart starts to feel ache... I really wanna leave that place....I never intend to wear all this just to look down at people who don't properly preserve their aurat! I was also wearing that way back then! of course I would not feel that way! as if I am insulting myself? astaghfirullah....how could he say that!]
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.[Al hujurat: 12]
as long as Allah reminds me this ayat, I will try not doing anything against Allah's law. insyaAllah...
--> as usual, people like me....I cried my heart out after the session!
--> Why I was crying stupidly ? excuse me...not because of my principle is being degraded...it just I feel that is it true that I am making Islam is seen as a rigid stuff?
--> to me, Islam is tsabit wa murunah : fix and flexible.....!
--> I am just protecting myself, but I am being looked up as a rigid believer....Ya Allah....am I follow a wrong path of transformation? is it WRONG for me not to smile to guys? [even the smiling is not a kinda of flirting?]
I am so sad thinking of that....]
--> but, after several hours, I am getting back my rational sense....
--> I would like to thank that sir so much for telling me all these....
--> although, I was receiving by quite number of shots, but I think, he has his own opinion...that is the way he sees Islam....
--> but I do have my own way too.... because sir, I owe Allah many explanations when The Day comes ...plus, don't worry, my smiling sensation would be much used in front of my future husband...I will smile everyday to my future husband sampai dia muntah hijau...[hehe]...
--> so, sir...thank you for telling me....but I still hold strongly with my principle.... as long as I'm taking Islam as a way of life...I am the one that once live in jahiliah ...and now I am still searching for a brighter light to make a further step....far from jahiliyah, and closer to Him.... after Allah gave me the light to start my step.
that is all for this time..... please forgive me for anything....anything....and please pray for ummah ....may us all being placed in His Jannah.....ameen....
all of the pictures were taken from Google image.
wallahuallam
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSalam.
ReplyDeleteHuhu. Jadi tak jadi lah nak ceritakan tentang perjanjian tu ye? I was waiting. Tapi kalau nak teruskan keep it as a secret, takkan saya nak berkeras nak ambil tahu pulak kan. Huhu.
Owh wow. Kak Sath gi jumpa Encik Kaunselor ye. Good. Saya tak pernah lagi jumpa kaunselor. Huhu. Aha. Saya pon rasa faham juga kandungan nasihat yang beliau beri tu. Indeed, beliau memberi pandangan beliau yang beliau rasakan baik untuk anda; dan anda juga punya pegangan tersendiri. After all, we know that everyone mesti mengenali diri sendiri lebih dari orang lain.
And of all, Allah jua yang Maha Mengetahui.
Tentang perihal perkahwinan, semoga temukan calon terbaik. 28 paling lewat ye? Hehe.
Owh. Dan boleh tompang tanya satu soalan? Erm. Kak Sath kata Kak Sath tak senyum pada kaum lelaki tu, bukan bererti bermasam kan? Neutral kan? Senyum tidak, bermasam pon tidak, kan? Sebaiknya, janganlah bermasam.
Saya ada pengalaman masa praktikal dulu; saya ni jenis yang senyum sokmo walau di mana (Alhamdulillah). Dan bila ada sorang senior saya masa praktikal (perempuan) tu membalas senyuman saya dengan muka masamnya, memang terguris lah juga saya dibuat. Kecik hati. TERmula bersangka buruk "Perasan betul akak ni. Ingat aku nak mengorat die ke".
Sedangkan saya takda hati pun nak 'usik', 'ngorat', 'menggatal' sekalipun kepada Akak Senior tu.
-Senyum kerana rakan sekerj-
And I believe, saya tak salah pon hanya kerana 'bersedekah' kepada semua orang.
Of course, Akak Sath pon dalam usaha tersendiri menjaga kehormatan diri. Tapi IMHO, perlu juga kot serba sedikit mengambilkira perasaan orang yang tidak dibalas senyuman tu. Bukan semua orang lelaki ni jenis yang gatal-gatal kan? You know that.
Jadi, senyum tak senyum pon, ada baiknya Kak Sath apply ikut tempat kot. Contohnya kalau Kak Sath terasa macam berada dalam persekitaran yang merasakan 'agak terancam', pilihlah untuk tidak senyum. Dan kalau tak ada sebarang desakan untuk tidak senyum pula, senyum sajelah kot. Huhu.
Sekadar pandangan saya. You know your environment better after all. :D~
May Allah bless you sister. Wassalaam.
1. I happened to meet him(the counsellor) but that was not arranged.
ReplyDelete2. bermasam? I guess because you're not knowing me in person so you're guessing the way I'm treating my boy friends. actually, akak memang jenis serius [for those that not really close to me including guys.], and of course kalau dah hari2 tgok muka akak serius mcm tu, I guess dorang tau akak mcm mana. it's hard to say because bermasam muka is when people starts to think that " oh...mesti dia ingat aku syok kat dia..."...but kak sath memang dah dijadikan berwajah serius so again I guess they take it easy. FYI, kalau dorang tegur/senyum dgn akak, for sure akak akan respon. apa yg akak maksud kat entry tu ialah, bila nampak dorang dari jauh, akak akan buat2 tak nampak dorang. tapi kalau dah terpandang tu, of course akak akan buat2 kenal memandangkan akak memang kenal...so, xde lah dorang nak fikir like what you've thought about your senior. after all, dorang memang jenis lelaki2 spesis faham.. so dorang x de la sentap ke...hopefully...
3. indeed,senyum tu memanglah bersedekah....tp bertempat jugak la kalau nak bersedekah senyuman dgn opposite gender especially rakan2 lelaki... walaupun ia tak la timbulkan apa2 perasaan tp seeloknya DIELAKKAN....am I right there?
4.yes. tak semua lelaki gatal tapi semua lelaki ada nafsu. perempuan pun... isn't prevention is much more better than cure? that's what I mean.
5. oh ya,FYI, akak takla kedekut tahap benua bila cakap bab senyum. akak senyum dgn pakcik2 tua, makcik2, akak2 yg tak dikenali, adik yg tak dikenali, lecturer2 lelaki & perempuan, akak2 cafe....so, I do smile a lot jugak sampai satu tahap rasa muscle kat muka rasa kebas...[secara metaphore nye...]
tp it's true... cuma dgn lelaki especially satu batch or dgn senior lelaki....memang automatik muscle shrink and tercetus lah wajah yg serius....
6. so, I don't know how guys seeing me...kalau dorang nak ckp buruk pasal akak, let them be je la..hopefully hafiz pun tak la rasa menyampah....huh?
Hahahaha... Terpulang Kak Sath. You know yourself better :D~
ReplyDeleteAntara optimist dan pesimist barangkali. It's true saya tak pernah jumpa Akak so tak dapatla nak bayangkan situasi yang paling tepat. So, untuk "prevention is much more better than cure" pon, saya hanya mampu katakan "Maybe". Huhuhu.
(Wargh.. Dah repost komen utk baiki typos pon masih bersisa lagi typo rupanya dekat komen atas tu... Baru perasan.. Huhu).