:::Chapter 13 : Seeking the serenity by my own::

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah..

Alhamdulillah. I'm back.

Sometimes [actually quite often ], I wonder why the elders to name a few such as our own parents or those that fight their lives during the war having such a great determination in their life. Like those Japanese which being tested with such a heavy disaster by Allah . While they are still mourning in such a deep sorrow with the first strike attack of the first tsunami, yet they get attacked again by the 2nd stroke of tsunami.

" My house is gone. Nothing is left. Then? Just, build a new one at the same site.. You will get nothing if you just watching the empty site day by day . Build a new one. "

That sentence really moved me. I wonder how that old Japanese man spur out those words after losing his family members and everything he ever had?

The obvious thing that distinguish me and that old man is our religion. I am muslim and he is not. I am muslim, my religion taught me a lot of things about how to face and overcome problems since I was small. I having a lot of problems, I have Allah. I have Allah. I have Allah. Maybe I could barely say that, but does my heart really second those words that come out from my mouth. I am sad having thinking of myself being so unfair to Allah. HE ease my burdens easily and silently but I received the burdens with so many complaints!! Compare to the old man, why I fail to spur out any positive thinking or opinion when I am facing any hardship and yet, my hardship is nothing to be compared with that old man hardship. I am nothing to be compared with him. I remember one thing. 'Recognize Allah in ease and He will recognize you in hardship.'

[PERINGATAN : NABI MUHAMMAD MANUSIA YANG PALING BANYAK MENDAPAT DUGAAN DARIPADA ALLAH DAN BAGINDA JUGA LAH YANG PALING TABAH DAN BERSABAR MANGHADAPI UJIAN ALLAH. SUBHANALLAH]

I always look up to my elders in search of inspiration and courage. How my seniors face the facts that they fail in their exams and some even repeating a year. How my parents maintain their marriage for so many many years [ compare to those that senang-senang je cerai zaman skrg?]

Having 2-3 assignments recently, already tuned me into a taciturn person for a week. If my friends did realised about it. Mashaallah. Then, Allah made my way easier. ease my burden without my realization. done with those assignments, I decided to be alone. I went out alone, took a taxi out from my college heading to the nearest town. [which is very near actually] . I know it is not good to be alone especially I am a female. but, I could just see those space. Though people think that it is useless or wasting time or money, to me it wasn't! [tapi, kalau my mom tau ni, confirm2 kena sound terok. shhhh... hehe]

That's how I endure the situation. So I went to one tempat makan and makan. then bought some needed goods. Lastly, I found this book and without thinking any seconds [ erm....actually, I did thinking for a few MINUTES whether to buy or not because of the budget. hehe] , so I bought it.

Having reading the first chapter of this book, many lines of the topic moved me. I'll share the contents once I finish my reading. maybe next week or after my 5th block examination. Perhaps. InsyaAllah.

So, that's all what I can share for this time. I've mentioned that reading this book is good,right?. yes. but I never deny the power of reading Al-Quran enlighten me a lot more than the book. But, just read the book as an additional supplement for our heart. Beli lah sendiri kalau tak sabar tunggu saya bercerita content dia. ok?

wallahuallam. wassalam.